Feeling Overwhelmed As a New Mom? These 5 Tips Can Help
Motherhood is so deeply rewarding.
But here’s a well-known secret among all mamas out there: it’s also quite intense.
Isolating.
Frustrating.
Overwhelming.
It seems like everything is triggering your overwhelm, and it could happen at any time.
Maybe the house is far from tidy. Or the baby won’t stop crying. The toddler’s tantrums leave you feeling so helpless.
You can’t seem to catch up with the demands of your job, and you contemplate whether you can really balance a career and motherhood.
It seems like you're always on the verge of tears. There are too many thoughts, too many heavy emotions that threaten to bury you.
And before you know what’s happening, all of this releases itself as intense anger or sadness so profound you can’t remember what a happier day was like.
Oh, mama. We’ve all been there. And honestly, we all still go through our own challenges.
When we’re feeling deeply overwhelmed, it’s time to reset.
I know you feel like you just don’t have the time to slow down - that you can’t possibly find a way to put yourself first when the day continues to spin out of your control.
Don’t worry, mama. There are ways to combat your overwhelm.
Defining Overwhelm
“You are worth the quiet moments. You are worth the deeper breaths, and you are worth the time it takes to slow down, be still, and rest.” - Morgan Harper Nichols
Mama, when was the last time you felt overwhelmed? Last week? Yesterday? Literally five minutes ago?
I hope at that moment you were able to take a breath and come back to the situation in a better headspace than you were before. I hope you were able to find stillness and some semblance of balance.
I just know how tough all of this can be. Even partial restoration doesn’t always happen, as hard as we try or as badly as we want it. It can leave you feeling drained and hopeless, and it can maybe even make you question why you chose this path for your life. But know that you are not alone here.
Overwhelm by definition is the feeling of being overpowered, overthrown, and completely submerged.
It’s important to understand the distinction between feeling stressed and being overwhelmed. Although you might feel uncomfortable or under pressure, you can still function when you’re stressed in order to get something done. Perhaps you’re even more productive if you’re someone who thrives under those circumstances.
Being overwhelmed, however, is a halt to your efficacy. It leaves you unable to think, act, or vocalize your thoughts. And as a result, it can lead to more frequent breakdowns and emotional outbursts.
In my toughest moments, I felt deeply submerged under my feelings of guilt, anxiety, and frustration. The overwhelm was SO real. It was like watching a tidal wave coming straight for me, and there was nothing I could do but stand there and watch.
The only thing I knew for sure was that I felt powerless to change my situation. So I let that wave pull me along, unable to do anything but panic. The feeling was utterly paralyzing. And it was worse when I knew it was affecting those around me.
Mama, if you’re feeling overwhelmed with everything going on, repeat after me:
This will pass
I am stronger than I know
I am more capable than I give myself credit for
This is just temporary
Everything will be okay
Being overwhelmed never feels good. It’s hard on our bodies, and especially our spirits. Let’s talk about some ways we can help ourselves when we’re starting to feel out of control.
Learn To Say No
This is a struggle that all mamas face. We tend to agree to do...well, everything...if we can manage it.
Here’s the thing: we don’t have a magical well of replenishable energy, especially when we’re already overwhelmed.
But we do it anyway because that’s what we think is expected. We don’t want to wrinkle the perfect image of the happy mom with everything together.
Mama, it’s important to respect our limitations and understand that they’re not weaknesses on our part.
We can’t do everything. We can’t be everywhere. And trying to do just that can only lead to overwhelm and burnout.
So set your boundaries. It’s okay to want to focus on one thing at a time. It’s okay to take the time that you need to feel better and be in a place to finally say yes.
You need to do what’s best for you and your baby. Self-care is a critical part of your motherhood journey.
Practice Gratitude
You do SO much. It’s just hard to see it sometimes.
Part of offsetting overwhelm is building a more positive mindset one piece at a time.
It’s all the little steps you take that make all the difference in the end.
Every day, try to pick out at least three things that you’re grateful for.
Write them down.
Say it aloud.
Record yourself saying it and listen to your list when you need gentle reminders.
Even if we can only identify one thing, that’s okay. Every single bit counts.
This exercise will piece together your heart, mama.
Do Something Just For You
Your days look so different lately. Sometimes, you barely recognize your reflection.
We devote ourselves entirely to everyone else, thinking about their needs and how to meet them.
But we know deep down that what we’re really craving is a break - a true break.
Not time spent away from the house running errands.
Not your brief minutes of peace in the shower.
A break that truly respects your space.
Search for something you love to do, and commit to it. Give yourself something to look forward to, mama.
Set aside some time to read, catch up on your favorite show, or attend that class you’ve been itching to take.
No matter what this looks like for you, embrace how it makes you feel. Soak in how much better you feel afterward. And keep at it.
Even if it’s in small increments, it’s so important to recharge your batteries and do something that fills you and belongs to you.
Breathe
Take a deep breath. In through the nose and out through the mouth. Then, take another and another until you feel your body start to relax, the tension slowly but surely lessening.
One of the first things you learn when you begin something like yoga or meditation is how to establish your breath. You find a powerful, steady rhythm in your breathing that you carry with you throughout your practice.
It sounds so simple and silly, but it’s so powerful. It creates calmness and stability, bringing your focus back to center - back to yourself.
And it’s so good for you, mama.
Take a step back when you’re feeling overwhelmed. Snag a few moments to concentrate on your breathing, and slow down for those few precious seconds.
You can even try placing one hand over your heart and the other over your stomach to feel your lungs fill with air as you open yourself up to love and light. Not only does the breathing help your muscles relax, but focusing on your stomach rising and falling and feeling your heartbeat against your palm is a great way to ground yourself in the present instead of being swept away by your thoughts.
When you’ve diffused your heightened emotions, you’ll be more capable of de-escalating a difficult situation in a more constructive way.
Therapy
“Self-care is giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you.” - Katie Reed
Mama, let that quote sink in. We give so much of ourselves each and every day. It’s so easy to begin losing our way.
When we feel our joy return, we’re better parents. We’re better partners. We’re better friends.
We’re better.
Sometimes it takes leaning into other resources for help. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Therapy will help you understand the source of your pain and frustrations. These sessions will teach you how to reframe your mindset, give actionable guidance on how to approach different scenarios, and provide an outlet to voice your struggles without judgment.
You’ll discover ways to soothe your emotions when you find yourself creeping towards a dark place. You’ll learn tools like journaling, meditation, breathing exercises, or other techniques that help restore the balance in you and are designed to help strengthen your mental state and awareness.
You’ll begin to understand your triggers and practice healthy ways to lessen the impact of your overwhelm.
Healing takes time. It’s a process that involves commitment and acceptance. The road isn’t easy, but never lose sight of why you did this.
You did it for yourself and your family.
You deserve to feel lighter. You deserve to feel happy, mama.
It’s totally okay for this journey of yours to be a collection of competing emotions that are so vastly different from one another. Never let anyone invalidate your feelings.
They are valid, mama. It’s okay to need support, and you should never be afraid to say it aloud. Be vocal.
Be well.
Always in your corner,
Team Bloome
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