Top 3 Mom Myths That Lead to Burnout and Anxiety
Here’s the “momxiety” conundrum…
It often feels like there is not enough time in the day — or space in the room — for us to get our basic needs met (showering, eating nutritious food, working, moving our bodies, investing in our relationships), let alone ponder why in the hell it is we feel exhausted, burnt out, overwhelmed, anxious, or sad.
But if we don’t take a look at the hard stuff — or the beliefs underneath all the hustle — we will just stay stuck.
I’ve been there before…
And even though I’m a therapist who (supposedly) has a leg up with all the training and tools, I still suffer underneath the mental and emotional weight of motherhood more often than I’d like to admit.
But here’s the difference.
When I find myself in struggle or have the sense that something is “off,” I no longer just push through and ignore it.
Instead, I’ve learned to get still enough to ask myself some version of this:
“What BS (limiting) belief are you buying into that is keeping you out of line with your values?!”
The truth is, wherever you fall on the spectrum of hot mess mom, it’s likely that at one point or another you’ve fallen victim to the “shoulds” of motherhood…
And because I have had the honor of sitting with so many courageous women (clients, friends, and colleagues included) who want to heal or evolve, I’ve come to understand the most common “Mom Myths” that keep us from being the whole-hearted person we want to be.
In sharing the myths/limiting beliefs that feed our anxiety and burnout, my hope is that more of us will start to do the work of busting them and stepping into the truth.
Myth #1: “I have to do it all…and I have to do it all perfect.”
The Truth:
We weren’t born believing we had to be perfect to be worthy…
Instead, this is learned over time through unhelpful messaging and unrealistic standards set by society, culture, our families, or our origin.
The good news is, since it was learned, (this whole perfectionism thing), it can be UNLEARNED too.
So, here’s the truth: You are strong AF (as proven by everything you manage to do every day), but you can’t actually do it all.
And when you try, you miss the good stuff... and so do your kids!
Myth #2: “Their (everyone else’s) needs are more important than mine!”
The Truth:
We also weren’t born to dismiss our needs.
In fact, when we came out of the womb, we knew exactly how to express our needs! Before we were introduced to shame, based on the idea of how little girls “should” behave in the world, we cried when we were in need, giggled when we felt joy…and it was as simple as that.
But then, the world did us dirty.
And as soon as we were old enough to receive the message, we learned that we were only allowed to have needs so long as those needs weren’t too disruptive, loud, or big.
But here’s the truth: We weren’t put on earth to make everybody else feel comfortable.
We are worth the time and space it takes to be whole (wait for it) … just because we are.
Another truth? Our children’s wellness starts with US.
The Myth: “I have to be good at it before I try…”
The Truth:
Nobody is good at anything when they first start.
Sure, some people are born more naturally inclined or gifted in certain things/areas.
BUT there is always a learning curve.
We as humans, and especially as women, often compare ourselves to people who have been doing things for much longer than we have.
As a result, we decide to stop trying before we even start.
Have you heard the stat that men apply for jobs they aren’t qualified for a WAY higher rates than women? That’s because of that whole “good girl” myth.
Perfectionistic ideals keep us from giving ourselves the chance to go down paths that have the potential to impact our lives, our communities, and (even) our world.
Here’s the truth: You, likely, won’t be good when you start…but start anyway.
Because if you don’t, somebody else more willing to stumble and fall, will.
So, why not you?
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This beautiful blog was written by Kaitlin Soule, a Licensed Therapist, Author, Speaker, and Women’s Empowerment Coach who is on a mission to help modern moms get out of their heads and into their lives. Kaitlin’s book A Less of a Hot Mess: The Modern Mom’s Guide to Growth and Evolution comes out in March 2022 and is available on Amazon Preorder.
If you are interested in working with Kaitlin on overcoming anxiety, growing beyond your limiting beliefs, or finding your identity as Mother and More go to www.wellnotesbykaitlin.com to check out her workshops and 1:1 coaching.
You can follow Kaitlin on Instagram @Kaitlin.Soule
And because you are here, we want to offer you something that will help you overcome your limiting beliefs and negative self-talk…
A worksheet dedicated to addressing your emotions, naming the beliefs that overwhelm you, and challenging them with truths that will empower you and help you move forward.
It’s all for you, here.
With love,
Team Bloome