A Love Letter To Your Postpartum Body
“I’ll never get used to what my body looks like now.”
“I feel like I’m in someone else’s body.”
“I’m bigger in places I never was before.”
“I just hate the way I look.”
Motherhood can truly be a paradoxical experience. The same bodies that were celebrated in pregnancy are the same ones that have become the source of our most negative self-talk.
Some of us have scars. Some of us have marks...or both. And yes, most of us will never look exactly the same after giving birth.
...And here’s the important thing, mama. Learning to embrace your postpartum body takes healing, acceptance, and most importantly… time.
Your body will readjust and heal at its own pace. In no way should you feel chained to the idea that you need to “bounce back” after childbirth.
This social mentality is simply unrealistic and can be incredibly damaging to our mental wellbeing.
Your body nourished a human being for months. It’s stronger than it has ever been before.
So, wherever you are at in your motherhood journey, we invite you to flip your negative self-talk about your postpartum body and be intentional when speaking with yourself, especially when feeling you’re most vulnerable.
“I’ll never get used to what my body looks like now.”
Instead: I am thankful for my body and the miracle it worked so hard to give me. I may not look the way I did before, and that’s okay.
“I feel like I’m in someone else’s body.”
Instead: This is my ever-changing body. It will take time to embrace it, and I will learn to.
“I’m bigger in places I never was before.”
Instead: I am allowed to notice the changes in my body. I am allowed to have days where I’m not satisfied with how I look, but I will always believe in how much stronger my body has become.
“I just hate the way I look.”
Instead: I am a powerful mama. I am enough. I am beautiful as I am.
Your body has been through a lot. So if you’re struggling to celebrate your body, here’s how you can put together a love letter full of gratitude and recognition for all that it has done. Here is my letter so you can see this through the lens of your fellow mama.
To My Postpartum Body
Start with an acknowledgment:
It’s been 2 years, and I think I finally see you.
At first, I wasn’t ready to accept you. Honestly, I didn’t truly look at you when I looked in the mirror.
I didn't know what I was expecting in postpartum. Did I genuinely think that I’d just shrink right down to what I was before? Have all this time to get back to my pre-baby body? Yeah, I actually did. And so when that didn’t happen...well, I was disappointed. But now that I’ve had time to process my experience as a mother (it’s taken 2 years and counting...because the process is always ongoing), I know how much you’ve done and what you continue to do. You are so powerful. I can’t believe I didn’t see it before. All I could see was the body I longer had. But you are so much more.
It’s time to say thank you:
So thank you for all that you’ve done and continue to do. You carried and nourished my miracle, and even though my third trimester wasn’t perfect -- and not entirely as I had imagined it would be -- I now have a healthy child who calls me mama, grabs my finger and takes me wherever she wants to go…’cause she’s the boss, let’s face it.
And while some days aren’t easy, for this alone, I am endlessly thankful.
We had long nights though, sheesh!
All that pumping - sometimes so much milk, sometimes none at all. I was hard on you then since I thought that we had failed in doing something that looked effortless for others...
An apology:
Now that I mention how unbelievably critical I was back then, I owe you an apology. Instead of celebrating you, I constantly believed the worst in you.
I was resentful of the days leading up to birth. Complication after complication…
I hated looking at my c-section scar to the point I ignored it for a few months.
I didn’t breastfeed as long as I wanted, but I tried my hardest until I couldn’t do it anymore.
Somehow I believed that it was your fault. That you had done something wrong.
But that was never the case. I have come to realize that the exact opposite was true. We had succeeded in the face of some of our greatest challenges. We did what we could and then some.
So this is what I believe now:
Incorporate a Mantra:
I will not compare you to anyone else.
All mamas are on a path of rediscovery and healing. Their journey is their own. Mine will be different from theirs. I’m okay with this, and I acknowledge that my emotional healing will take patience. I’ve come to accept that I need to protect my time, slow down, and prioritize my care.
Bring in a second, powerful mantra:
I believe in a gentle and natural approach when it comes to weight loss.
There are some days where I feel I can do it all, and others where I can barely get out of bed. So I’ll give myself grace especially on these days…but I’ll try to every day. When we succeed, we’ll celebrate. I want to feel good, but not at the cost of my health. I’ll do what I can when I can so long as I feel able to do so.
Keep it going, mama!
I honor the signals you’re sending me that I need to care for myself first so I embrace motherhood from a place of strength and joy.
And when I’m feeling low and not myself, I will listen to you. I’ll slow down, live in the moment, and seek the help I need to feel better. Thank you for always reminding me that I deserve better.
I am not ashamed.
I was never ashamed of you, just getting used to a new, stronger me.
An Acceptance:
I fully accept you now and always. I see you finally. I love you.
—
We know that it’s hard being a mother. When we try to voice how we’re feeling, it seems to always be met with a certain amount of judgment...
So we don’t say anything...
We bottle it up until one day, we can’t contain our anger -- or our sadness -- any longer.
It should never get to this point.
When we say that mothers need a support system -- a village -- it’s 100% true. But we need an intentional one.
One made of our fiercest advocates that hold no judgment and understand exactly where you are.
If you’re interested in any of our programs designed specifically to help mothers prepare or thrive in postpartum, check it out here. It’s a safe space full of women who get you and can help you through this.
“It's a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you're ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now. And you may as well do it now. Generally speaking, now is as good a time as any.” -Hugh Laurie