What You Can Do To Manage The Invisible Load Of Motherhood
The invisible load of motherhood.
You’ve probably seen this phrase while scrolling on social media…
Or maybe you’ve even thought about how tired you feel at the end of the day, wondering why you feel so completely drained…
The invisible load of motherhood is 100% real.
Because it’s more than just the physical aspects of being a mother, although that plays a significant part.
It’s also the mental and emotional side of motherhood that we rarely talk about.
This is what happens behind the scenes.
This is how we keep everything running as smoothly as possible.
This is how we try to keep everyone around us happy and healthy.
But what is the cost?
What Is The Invisible Load of Motherhood?
The invisible load of motherhood is the physical, mental, and emotional aspects of being a mom that often goes unnoticed.
This is why we often feel unheard or unseen because we’re often missing a proper outlet to express how overwhelming it can really be.
Because sometimes, we have a hard time defining what is driving us to burnout.
Let’s break it down, starting with the physical aspects of motherhood:
Pains of childbirth
Breastfeeding
Preparing formula and meals
Sleep deprivation
Playing with the children
Taking older children to school
Exercise
Just to name a few. Now, let’s get into the mental side of motherhood:
Balancing day-to-day schedules and routines
Making appointments
Potty training
Keeping track of all family milestones like birthdays and anniversaries
Tracking groceries
Keeping a budget
Staying up-to-date on baby’s major developments, leaps, and nutrition
Getting work done (for our working mamas) and scheduling meetings during downtimes
Starting to sound familiar, mama. And finally, let’s add in some examples of the emotional load in motherhood:
Comforting baby/toddler
Dealing with tantrums while trying to stay patient and calm
Balancing relationships
Dealing with powerful emotions by yourself
Getting much-needed time for self-care
Being a present mother
Dealing with an identity crisis now that you’re a parent
Missing your previous life
Experiencing a postpartum mood disorder
Deciding if you need help to manage signs of a postpartum mood disorder
All of this in combination is what you deal with every single day, mama.
And for some other mamas, the load is even heavier.
It’s so much for one person to carry on their own.
This is meant to show you how much you do.
Just how much you sacrifice…
Whenever you’re feeling like you just can’t do it.
Or that you’re not doing enough…
Or maybe you’re feeling a seed of doubt about your capabilities as a mother…
Just remember how much you have on your shoulders.
Some mamas are fortunate enough to have support when they need it, a caring and attentive partner, and extra resources when times are hard… but for some other mamas, that isn’t the case. Each and every situation is unique. And sometimes, all we want is for someone to listen - truly listen, without fear of judgment or reprimand.
This is your reminder:
Your feelings are completely valid.
5 Ways to Manage the Invisible Load of Motherhood
Luckily, there are ways to help manage the invisible load of motherhood right now that you can start using in order for you to start feeling better.
1. Communicate with your partner
Communicating with your partner or spouse is one of the most important things you can do to alleviate some of your stress. This involves having an honest and candid conversation about what your needs are. Let’s say you need additional support around the house. You could begin the discussion by defining what you would like out of this discussion. For example, you can start by letting them know that you would a solution and then get into how you can share household responsibilities or time with the baby more equally.
These conversations can be some of the hardest ones you have, depending on your circumstances. But inviting these types of talks and practicing them in constructive ways can help open the door to better communication between the two of you.
2. Receive and be open to help
One of the behaviors that tend to happen frequently is that mothers end up taking all the responsibility. After this has happened for a prolonged time, it’s hard to relinquish that control. If the circumstances are right, be open to receiving help in any form it comes in. Whether that’s having company, a friend or family member watching the baby for an hour or so, take up their offer. It doesn’t make you any less of a parent to accept help when you need it most. This will help you get closer to feeling refreshed.
3. Find a community
Sharing with a like-minded community about your experiences - and finding that others are going through something similar - will help bring about a sense of community. Knowing that you’re not alone in this journey makes an impact on your motherhood journey.
At Bloome, you can find our support group here.
4. Write down what’s on your mind
When you don’t have an outlet to vent about your frustrations, it can be incredibly therapeutic to write it all down in a journal. Make a list of all the things you’ve done for the day, no matter how small it seems. Then, look at your list. This is a visual representation of all that you do. You may be surprised to see just how much is on that list. It’s a validating experience, one that invites you to be kinder to yourself.
5. Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize
Whether you choose to write down what’s on your mind or vocalize them, it’s important to prioritize what should get done during the day. What absolutely needs to get done? What can definitely wait? This is a way to cut down on what’s going on around you, making space for other things like attending to your self-care.
The most vital aspect of prioritizing your workload is this: forgive yourself if you can’t get it done.
There will be time later.
Be kind to your heart, mama. You do so much.
You deserve to rest.
–
Thank you, as always, for reading our blogs and being a part of our #momsinbloome community.
We hope that we’ve cultivated a safe place for you.
A place that gives you comfort and a sense of community with moms going through very real emotions.
It’s our mission to give mothers the resources they need to thrive in motherhood, to embrace this part of our lives with a full heart.
It’s not always easy.
Some days will test your patience in ways that you didn’t were even possible.
But you’re not alone.
We invite you to sign up below for a chance to win a FREE a la carte option of your choice. This means you can either receive a Virtual Check-In Session (15 minutes), A Virtual Session (50 minutes), or a Postpartum Planning session (1 Hour).
It’s never too late to focus on your emotional and mental recovery.
Taking care of yourself should be a priority.
It’s okay to put yourself first.
Now and always.
-Team Bloome