5 Tips To Find the Right Therapist for You
What comes to mind when you think of therapy?
Do you first consider the time that you don’t have or the cost that it will take? Do you think therapy is for “crazy people?” Maybe you think it’s just not for you.
All of your considerations are valid (except for the “crazy people” one, because that’s just not true), and they are all prominent barriers to seeking necessary treatment.
Starting therapy is daunting and can feel like another big challenge you’re facing on your postpartum journey.
But... in your heart, you know you need support.
For you, your family, and your little one.
So, where do you even begin?
As you scroll through a long list of therapists, you can get completely stuck — just unable to move forward because everything feels overwhelming... and all of those bios sound the same...
One of the most difficult parts of starting therapy — and the most long-lasting and impactful — is finding a therapist that truly understands you and your story.
You’re opening up your heart to this person and revealing moments of your life that make you uncomfortable — things that your loved ones might not even know. You’re at your most vulnerable.
You need to feel safe.
So like at any point in life, having the right therapist makes all the difference. It can be a huge determining factor in your choice to continue your therapeutic journey or the reason you stop.
It’s a delicate decision — one that isn’t easy to make for any number of personal reasons.
But here’s where we come in! We’ve outlined 5 awesome tips for you to consider when you begin searching for a therapist.
1. Setting Your Expectations with Therapy
During your journey of healing, you’ll want to be mindful of the fact that therapy is a process.
It takes some time to see and feel major changes within yourself.
One session isn’t enough to achieve restoration when you’ve been feeling overwhelmed for a while. It can be SO easy to turn around, throw up your hands, and say…
Well, this isn’t working.
That was awkward.
I’m not sure I want to go through that again.
Think of it like this, mama. When you’re not feeling well, what’s the first thing you do?
You get some medicine or natural remedies from the store. You call your doctor. You rest.
And once you begin this process of recovery, you slowly but surely, start to feel better. Nothing really happens overnight. While therapy is certainly more nuanced and complex, the same principle applies.
It takes time to break through your resistance to see positive behavioral transformations, but when you do, it’ll be like taking a breath of fresh air.
Having a therapist who encourages you to be patient, to stick with the process, makes you feel comfortable, and understands your journey is everything.
2. Use Your Insurance Company
So, you want a therapist...now where to begin???
Step 1. Start with your insurance company.
Before you start going through the effort of looking for a therapist, it’s helpful to know what your insurance covers. Oftentimes your insurance provider’s website will list in-network mental health professionals, so that is always a great place to start.
You can do this by logging into your account and searching for therapists based on location, clinical specialties, and other specifying criteria.
Step 2. Find out if your employer offers an Employee Assistance Program.
It might be even easier for you to start here. These programs are designed to make this process seamless by providing the exact information you need. You just need to tell them what you’re looking for.
Some EAP programs even extend to your family as well.
You can contact your Human Resources department to find out if this is a benefit offered at your workplace. If it is, they can point you in the right direction.
Step 3. Once you’re ready to narrow down the best therapist for you, keep this in mind:
You want to look for a specialist in the perinatal and postnatal sphere -- someone who has thorough experience with the challenges and changes in pregnancy and postpartum.
Make sure that this is a significant part of their credentials.
3. Turn To Social Media
Postpartum or Mom-focused Facebook groups can be a great pipeline for useful information.
Here, mamas share their experiences and advice.
You might even find yourself offering up your own wisdom and making connections.
If you join a local mama group — and you’re not comfortable asking about mental health professionals in your area — you can do a quick search in the group to see if someone had asked that same question recently and what the recommendations were.
But if it doesn’t come up, feel empowered to ask this question to the group. You might be surprised at how many people jump in to help or the number of other moms looking for the information!
You can also turn to Instagram, where more and more maternal health professionals are empowering women to speak up about the realities of motherhood and to seek help when needed.
They often have their own practices that are geared specifically towards pregnant women and postpartum mothers.
This is the perfect space for you — especially when you’re tending to your little all day — to find out more about the services available.
People tend to be a lot more honest behind a keyboard and screen, so ask all the tough questions and connect with other mamas who can help!
4. Ask Your Support Circle
If you’re comfortable with it, having honest conversations with your friends and family about what you’re looking for can be very therapeutic and informative — you’ll be surprised at who in your circle has a therapist.
And usually, people are super ready to share names and numbers. Because, for them, it made a difference. It helped them get to a place where they feel the stability and positive effects of therapy.
For some reason, knowing that a loved one vouches for a certain therapist is always a comforting feeling.
Sometimes, your friends and family who have seen you struggling will help with your search for the right therapist. It’s an incredibly supportive and loving gesture that makes this process so much easier on you. But we know that this isn’t always the case for everyone, and we want to be sensitive to this.
Mama, do what feels right.
5. Be Selective
It all starts with the introductory call.
Ask all the questions that you need to ask so that you can make the best decision for yourself. There is no wrong question. If you found the right therapist, they’ll understand how apprehensive you might be at first.
Once you feel good about moving forward with a therapist, and that initial appointment is scheduled, you might find yourself feeling a little lighter already.
Then it’s appointment day…
And that first session t can fill you with a lot of anxiety.
But this is truly for you. It’s your time. Your investment. Your journey.
If something feels off, then listen closely to your instincts. You’ll know when it’s not the right fit.
It’s important that when you start interacting with your therapist, you feel comfortable and heard. You shouldn’t feel any form of judgment in this space. If they’re not giving off the right vibe, then it’s okay to determine that they’re not for you.
You want someone whom you can trust, someone who will be your advocate as you traverse early motherhood.
If you opt to look for providers offering in-person services right now, it’s okay to be picky about the office itself!
The environment in which someone chooses to connect with their patients is actually a big factor in your impression of therapy. So, ask yourself these questions:
Are you uncomfortable in the space?
Was there a waiting room that helped you begin to unwind before the session?
Does it give off a warm, inviting feeling? Do you like the smell, the colors, and the decor?
Do you feel safe in the space? Is the furniture comfortable and can you relax a bit?
You’re going to be there for a good part of an hour. You want to make sure you’re comfortable.
With the pandemic, most health care providers are using telehealth or video conferencing to conduct these sessions. Even then, you can still gauge how they made you feel and the connection both of you share.
I know it’s a lot, mama.
But if you keep at it, you’ll start to feel freer and lighter than you have in a long time.
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We know how hard it can be to take this step. It’s SO much easier said than done.
If you need more support -- if you’re still feeling entirely overwhelmed by this process — we get it. And we can help.
At Bloome, we offer FREE consultations that will guide you to the right form of care you need. Based on this consultation, we can recommend what comes next. All it takes is a simple message.
We’ll meet you right where you are. No need to get gussied up for us, mama.
We’re also insurance-based, so you have more time to focus on your mental wellbeing.
We’re here for you.